Bar JokesCheaper By The Inch A man had been drinking since the early evening and was beginning to display his ugly side. "Hey, how about it, babe? You and me?" he asked the woman sitting alone beside him. The woman stood up to move to another seat. "Darling, you look as though you could use the money, but I only have £2 left," the man shouted. The woman looked back at him and asked loudly "What makes you think I charge by the inch?" Pure Embarrassment A man sees a beautiful woman in a bar. After taking an hour to summon up the courage, he moves to her table and asks shyly "Would you mind if I chatted to you for a while?" The woman yells "No! I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar stares at them. Naturally, the man is hopelessly embarrassed and slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him. "I'm sorry I embarrassed you," she says with a smile. "I'm a psychology student and I'm seeing how people respond to an embarrassing situation." The man yells "What do you mean, £200?" Round Two A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and says to the crowd of drinkers "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back." The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later, the same man who left returns and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" he asks. The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. The Irishman drinks them all back-to-back. The other patrons cheer as the Texan watches in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?" The Irishman replies "Oh! I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
Pussy Hair Two best friends, Martin and Frank, are in their local having a few drinks when Martin leans over and begins stroking Frank's beard. Martin says "Your face feels just like my wife's pussy." So Frank strokes it himself and says "You know what? You're right!" Sexual Magic A young man goes up to a young woman in bar and says "You want to play Magic?" The young woman asks "What's that?" The young man answers "We go to my house and fuck, then you disappear."
Send Us Your Jokes Do you have a joke, a story or a picture that's made you laugh or snigger enough to share with our visitors? Then send it to Aaron. |
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