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Hospital Jokes

Sexual Health

A student in medical school wanted to specialise in sexual disorders, so he arranged to visit the sexual disorder clinic.

The chief doctor was giving him a tour of the place, discussing cases and the facilities, when the student saw a patient masturbating in the hallway.

"What condition does he have?" asked the student.

"He suffers from Seminal Buildup Disorder," the doctor replied. "If he doesn't obtain sexual release 40 to 50 times a day, he'll pass into a coma."

The student made a note and they continued down the hall.

As they turned the corner, they saw another patient receiving oral sex from a beautiful nurse.

"What about him?" the student asked.

"Oh, it's the same condition," the doctor replied. "He just has a better health plan."

My Kind of Town

A nurse at a mental institution walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car.

She asks him "Charlie, what are you doing?"

Charlie replies "Driving to Chicago."

The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.

The next day, the nurse enters Charlie's room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks "Well Charlie, how are you doing?"

Charlie replies "I just got into Chicago."

"Great," replies the nurse.

She leaves Charlie's room and goes across the hall into Bob's room, where she finds Bob masturbating furiously.

Shocked, she asks "Bob, what are you doing?!"

Bob says "I'm gettin' it on with Charlie's wife while he's in Chicago."

Pulling The Plug

During a visit to a mental hospital, a visitor asked the Director how it was decided whether or not a patient should be institutionalised.

"Well," said the Director. "We fill up a bath, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask them to empty the bath."

"I see," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No," said the Director. "A normal person would pull out the plug."

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