Dating Tips

Dating tips: when you've spent some time communicating with people online, eventually you'll get to the stage where you need to take things into the real world.

While this can be a stroll in the park for some, for other it can be as scary as hell; but whether you're a seasoned swinger or new to the game, it's useful to know how to prepare for that all important first meeting.

Follow our adult dating advice and online dating tips and you won't go far wrong. If you put a little time into planning, the chances of a successful date are so much higher. And success is what you're looking for after all, isn't it?

Be Safe

Although it's all starting to sound like old hat nowadays, when you agree to meet a person who you've until now only had contact with via the net, it's still important to give some serious thought to security.

No matter how lovely your date sounds, it's never worth taking unnecessary risks. Just a few safeguards are all that are needed and, while most never need them, they've also been lifesavers. So:

• tell somebody, preferably more than one person, where you're going, who you're meeting and where on the net you originally met them
  
  
• arrange to have somebody call your mobile at a pre-arranged time. If this is about half an hour after you've arranged to meet, you'll have had time to decide whether you're happy to spend the afternoon or evening in the other person's company or whether you need help to bail out
  
  
• if you're not happy, let the caller know by using a predetermined code. If you say something like "I'm on a date with Dave, but I'll obviously have to cut it short" they will know to call you again in half an hour if you haven't called them back yourself. All you need say to your date is "that was my babysitter/mother/ex husband" and that you need to go

Safety. Hardly sexy, but definitely necessary.

Meet in a Public Place

Consider carefully where your date should take place.

I think most people know by now that the first meeting should always be in a public place, but which public place? If you choose a place where there's something to focus on, there's less chance of the conversation drying up. Think of what you have in common with your date and arrange a meeting to suit.

Never arrange to meet without first having decided where to go. First dates are often awkward enough, without having the extra pressure of deciding to what to do.

Keep the Conversation Flowing

Making good conversation is a great way to obtain someone's trust and spark their interest in you.

Although both of you will be hoping that your meeting develops beyond polite conversation, you do need to be able to break the ice as a means of establishing a rapport with your partner. However, while some people are natural conversationalists, sadly that doesn't go for all of us. So make sure that you can avoid any awkward silences by brushing up on current affairs and celebrity gossip. Pick a few topics that you think your date will find interesting (and that interest you, obviously) and swot!

Maybe you won't need your new found information, but at least you'll know it's there should the need arise.

Listen and Be Positive

Listen with interest to what your date says and respond by asking questions. If you appear to be genuinely interested in your partner, you've laid the foundations for a whole lot more than conversation!

When you're talking about yourself, be positive and upbeat. Nobody wants to hear about your bad marriage, your abusive childhood or your daughter's drug addiction on a first date. Save that stuff for later, when you know each other better.

Enjoy Yourself

Above all else, approach your date with the objective of enjoying yourself. It's the best way of ensuring that your partner does so as well.

When It All Goes Wrong

No matter how much time we've spent exchanging messages via e-mail, instant messenger and text, the truth is that sometimes, when we take a relationship offline and decide to meet, the person whose company we enjoyed so much online turns out to be somebody entirely different in real life. Not necessarily different in that the 21 year-old blonde bombshell turns out to be a 40 year-old mother of six with a wooden leg, or that the incredibly sexy fire-fighter turns out to be a balding 50-year old with a beer gut the size of a hot air balloon, but still not quite what you'd expected.

A problem date can be caused by anything from boredom to being seriously afraid. How you handle it will depend largely on the reason you're not happy. However, if you've made pre-date security arrangements, you should be able to leave without any problems.

When you decide to leave, be polite when making your excuses. Thank your date for meeting you and apologise for having to leave in such a hurry. Then stand and leave swiftly. Don't hang about making farewell small-talk. If your date tries to delay your leaving, be assertive and tell them that you must leave now. Raise your voice if necessary in order to bring the attention of others to the situation.

Hopefully you won't experience the kind of disappointment that makes you want to get away from your date as quickly as possible, but always prepare for the unexpected. Setting up pre-date security precautions should leave you with less to worry about when preparing for a date. By itself, that can go a long way to ensure that you approach that first meeting in a relaxed and positive frame of mind, which in turn will add to your chances of success.

Sadie